


Stan and Richie visit Area 51

by Band_slut_michael



Category: IT (2017), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, area 51, blowjobs are mentioned, guns are mentioned, weed is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 06:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19997572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Band_slut_michael/pseuds/Band_slut_michael
Summary: “-And I got a get out of jail free card in my wallet babe so we’re gonna be fine” Richie was saying, trying to convince a stern Stan to go up to the gates.Or alternatively the stozier fic where they commit a felony





	Stan and Richie visit Area 51

**Author's Note:**

> This is hot horse garbage

They weren’t the only ones camped out, there were random tents and vans scattered around. 

But they were probably the only ones who were fucking around on the governments property. 

“-And I got a get out of jail free card in my wallet babe so we’re gonna be fine” Richie was saying, trying to convince a stern Stan to go up to the gates. 

“I told you already Richard we are not going to the gate we are staying in the van and that’s that” Stan said with finality in his voice. 

Pouting, Richie tugged on the sleeve of Stan’s shirt. “Please please please can we just go outside then? It’s hot in hereeeeeee”. He didn’t wait for a response. Opening the vans door Richie stepped out into the cold Nevada night. “Ahhh señior the air is so crisp and fresh”. Stumbling out behind him, Stan took a deep breath. He wouldn’t admit it but Richie was right, it was a nice contrast between the heat of their van and the breeze outside.

Lifting his arms Richie stretched out, Stan watching him from behind with a small smile. “You’re shirt is on backwards” he pointed out. “I know! wanted the logo on the front” Richie replied, turning to show Stan the print. It was a bunch of aliens in various dance poses. Stan moved towards his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him. “Let’s go up to the gate and harass the guards yeah?” He offered with a shit eating grin. 

Richie began to vibrate with excitement. “Fuck yes!” He cried out, grabbing Stan’s hand in his own. 

They walked on the dust covered desert, passing the others who were there for the raid. Smoke filled tents littered the land. “Hey! If we don’t get arrested for this we should hot box the van!” Richie suggested excitedly. Stan didn’t say anything but nodded in agreement. 

Their hands brushed against each one another’s as they walked. Stan took the initiative to link their fingers together as they approached the wired fence. 

It wasn’t tall, and they could see right past it, looking out into the dark distance various lights. Two guards in camouflage stood against the gate with their guns in arm. Neither boy felt intimidated as nothing had happened all night and they’d seen multiple people go up to them and strike up conversations. Stan felt bad for them, almost, because they had to stand there and deal with millennials who had death wishes. Then he remembered they were pigs. 

“Howdy my good sir! Mighty fine evening tonight.” Richie said with a southern drawl. Stan stayed silent and decided to wait until Richie really got his mouth going before speaking up. “Y’all wrangle up any aliens in these here parts?” He asked. 

The guard shifted from foot to foot, sizing them up. He had a good few inches on them (and anyone on earth had more muscle them so you can imagine). 

Huffing Richie pushed his glasses up with his free hand. “I see, us outsiders ain’t welcome on your land, but we come bearing gifts!” Dropping Stan’s hand Richie lifted up his hands, wiggling his fingers out dramatically. 

“Magic!” He said. Taking a deep breath in he began to bounce lightly in place. “When I get to the count of three I’ll have disappeared from your line of vision.” 

The guard rolled his eyes and Stan began to panic, knowing exactly what Richie planned on doing before he did it. 

“One” 

“Richie don’t”

“Two”

“Richie!”

“THREE”

And with that richie used all the force his lanky, gangly body had and began to haul his ass toward the gate. Stan had a split second to decide what to do. Follow after his boyfriend or let him get shot down alone. “Fuck it” was all he could think before chasing after him. 

“Hey! Get your asses back here.” guard A shouted, looking towards guard B, not knowing what to do. 

Richie made it about 30 feet in when Stan caught up. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?” Stan hollered out. Richie couldn’t answer, he was panting too hard to form words. 

The guards started to chase after them, guns raised in position to shoot. “STAND DOWN OR WE WILL SHOOT” guard A cried out. Taking a pot shot at their feet, guard B clicked on his walkie talkie. “We have two males breaching the east side entrance headed towards building A3” 

Stan chose the wrong day to wear his white keds. Dust was shooting up behind them as they ran. Neither had direction but kept going. Soon the lights faded away and Richie slowed to a jog. “Stanley Uris will you marry me?” He asked, out of breath. 

“No.” Stan replied stopping is take in much needed air. “I’m breaking up with you.”

After a few moments Stan spoke up again. “We have to get out of here Richie they’re going to kill us! And then my mom will be upset.” Stan said as if Maggie and Went would not be as upset. 

“Alright Mr Stanley we can leave, just gotta find the exit is all” Richie replied coolly. Doing a full 360 spin Richie took in their surroundings. Dirt and some buildings to their left, and off to the right a faint outline of a fence. 

“Can you climb that?” He asked Stan, who was quietly speaking a prayer. 

Looking up from his hands Stan studied the fence. “That looks like an electrical fence dumbass we’d get shocked” he said shaking his head. 

Richie said nothing but began to walk off towards the fence. Stan sighed, and began after him. “Did you not hear me? It’s most likely e-lec-tra-cal Rich you’re gonna get-“ 

“We don’t know that it’s electrical and I’m going to prove that it isn’t” Richie interjected. They came upon it after a few short minutes. 

Looking over at Richie, Stanley nodded, giving him the okay to try. 

Richie shoved his hand against the fence. Nothing happened. 

“You’re blowing me later” Richie claimed as he took grip on the fence. He began to hoist himself up. It took a moment for Stanley to process Richie’s words. 

“Wh-“ He sputtered “What! No I will not I will most certainly not be doing that!.” Richie had scaled the fence and dropped down to the other side, stumbling only a little. With a blank face he gestured to Stan with his hand. 

“You’re on the wrong side of the fence matey, I suggest ye get to climbin’” Richie commented in what seemed to be an attempt at a pirates voice. With a glare Stan latched onto the wire and heaved himself up. 

He had more grace than Richie did with his landing. Relief filled Stan. They were going to be fine. 

Staring into Richie’s eyes he tried to think about what to say, how to articulate his feelings. Instead of using words he put his hand out, palm up, for Richie to take. 

They crept towards the makeshift camp site like that, fingers interlocked and swinging between them. Stan was sure to keep his eyes open, still scared that the guards would attack. 

Their van was where they’d left it. Richie opened the door with a dramatic swing. “After you my good sir!” He said. Stan stepped in and took a seat. 

“No one will believe us.” Stanley said softly. It was finally hitting him in the face, what they had done that night. 

“Fuck ‘em, nark’s would probably snitch to the police.” Richie replied. 

He moved to sit down on with his boyfriend. “Ah dick you know what, I know why My fucking proposal failed earlier.” Confused and tired, Stan just ignored Richie’s comment. 

Digging into his pants pocket Richie pulled out a faded looking box. “Open it, like the Christmas gift you never got.” Richie said. 

Stan yawned and took the little velvet case. He was expecting weed or something along those lines. 

Not a engagement ring.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave some hate in the comments below


End file.
